tonight...

was fun. saw a lot of people that i wanted to see and only one person that i didn't really care to see. i really want a margarita. been wanting one for three days now. hmmm....

i want too much. i smoke too many cigarettes. i need too much money. and not for my wants, but for my gay-ass needs. but my needs were wants at one time or another, so i guess i fucked myself. but i feel that in a few months shit will be good. i'm happy now, just sayin, but shits also fucked up. i can't help but compare this year to 1999. which was a fucked up year, from new years eve to my birthday. so far, this year too. will 2019 suck ass? oh i hope not, and i'm not gonna worry. but regardless, i suppose the difference is i'm happy right now. and happy is pretty rad. it's all i want. right? it's what you want, eh? and food. i fuckin love it. oh and love. i love love. ha, and coming...

so is it a good year then??? am i just being an asshole??? no. i get it...

i feel like i've been talking a lot about heartbreak, and it's not in the way that you think. i'm in love with mister, so hard. it's in a way that i've never experienced before (heartbreak), not in a romantic way. this hurts more than any boy ever has hurt me.

kittens hurt more than fists. the end.